Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
