we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
