what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
