I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
