he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
this hospital has no fireball
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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