Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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