Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
