her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
