why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
