I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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