I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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