i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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