frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
