chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
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