I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
