There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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