if you like me you must not know who I am
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
did i walk over a car last night?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
