i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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