I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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