There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
You're earring is so big in my mouth
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
