I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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