Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
