is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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