Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
