i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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