I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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