So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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