if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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