No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I am naked and annoyed.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
