I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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