i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
