I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize