Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
