i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
