Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just want nice things and good sex
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
