New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
