We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
