I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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