everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
