I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
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I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
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I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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