Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
