There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
