he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I love you. Go after that dick
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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