I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
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Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
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just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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