i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize