This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
