Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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