The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
