I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I will be naked everywhere
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
