she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
