It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
