I have demons in me.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
