I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
