Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
