A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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