I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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