Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
