where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
