If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
