the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
