oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
