she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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