bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
