My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
